I Don’t Want To Ride The Trolley

        This gorilla, as photographed by me at the Wild Animal Park this weekend has a very distinct look. He has the look of a person that is about to start their commute on San Diego’s public transit system. SDMTS has a new commercial that, for some reason highlights the travel of a hot, young couple that have never been on the trolley or a bus before. People that only ride the trolley to Padres games, Chargers games and special events in downtown San Diego. Events that get extra trolley service added, to ensure that sports or Earth Day fans will feel they get their $5 worth out of a day pass. I think SDMTS should film a commercial showing people that have to use the trolley to get to and from work on a daily basis. The gorilla above, with his scowl should star in that commercial.
        Those of us that have the special event of “going to work” on the trolley or bus get less than nothing. We have experienced a 40% reduction in service, yet fair weather baseball fans get special, added shuttle service, via the trolley to PETCO Park. Chargers game on Sunday? No problem. SDMTS adds special trolley service from downtown to Qualcomm Stadium on a SINGLE trolley on game days. Do you have to commute to work on a non game day? Tough shit, non-sports fan. Going to work on weekdays is less important to SDMTS than going football or baseball games on the weekend.
        Allow me to dust off an old gem by reminding everyone of this video I shot back in September, 2009. In it you will see a public commuter have his head crushed under the knee of a trolley security guard, and then the guards turn on me for filming it. I should have worn a Chargers jersey I guess, and then I would have been given preferential treatment, instead of being treated like an average commuter.

450mm, 1/1250th, f/5.6 200 ISO – In The Rain

        This black bird was sitting atop a street light in the rain. I like the detail of the perch and feathers, and the way the bird seems to be staring back at me. I don’t know if it’s a crow or a raven, so if anyone out there can tell the difference, let me know.

The Raven The Glass & The Wardrobe

        A raven, trying in vain to enter a building with mirror-like windows was my entertainment at lunchtime today. This bird was banging the shit out of these windows, and my guess is that the stupid bird thought his reflection was an adversary that must be destroyed. This is a raven, not a crow, so all you EMO fans will have to go yet another day wondering why the world doesn’t understand you. Do you know how to tell the difference between a raven and a crow? I do. Crows pronounce the “C” in their voice when they call… Caw! Ravens have a deeper, raspier voice that sounds like, “Ahh” or “Rah.” This bird is a raven.

        Something never mentioned before, that warrants your attention now is that I do possess the powers of a God. I am not a God myself, nor am I immortal, I just play one on both of the internets. The transcending abilities of the Holy Beings in our universe are just are as much as anyone, especially me can imagine, and I can imagine quite a bit. As I recall a journey and think about the fun I had and the places and times that I went, but it is the catalyst that warped the orbit I was in, sending me careening through the distant past before my elliptical orbit brought me back into the present.

Ever The Prop In The Setting Of A Story

        Rose petals floated in a crystal blue, color changing pool, in a not so unusual way, yet had they not been there, in that most cliché of ways, I would have missed the sock that were float nearby and the vacant pair of pants that lay tossed in a rose bush.

Don’t look inside the cap or you will change the world!

        The pool, the petals, the pants and the socks all drew my attention to the shiny, gold champagne bottle stopper, and the tiny cargo it contained. Like passages from the Necronomicon, I cannot recite what I said or did next, but suffice to say that my journey was about to begin.

You Are Not Alone In Your Quest For The Divine

        Of course there are those in the world that would use an opportunity like this for other than pure, photographic fun, so I had to be sure I remained unseen by those people.

My only Reference Point To Return Home

        I saw that others had started similar journeys, and as they had already, graciously carved proper returning coordinates in a nearby succulent, I did what the champagne bottle stopper suggested, and headed for the distant past.

Creatures Moved At The Edge Of My View

        The past is a dangerous place; especially will no GPS or cell phone reception. This was a land with Ickypedia, so I would have to rely on my wits, cunning, candy I had in my pockets.

I Was In The Backyard Of Animals That Would Mean To Do Me Harm

        Even though I wanted to find out if this dragon was capable of breathing fire, I would have to find a better time to separate fact from fiction. Right now I would just have to get some sort of bearing and proceed in a manner that would best allow me to flex my photographic muscles, so I wondered away.

If A Creature With Teeth Like This Died Here, What Chance Did I Have?

        I found myself on the edge of an ancient tar pit, and I just didn’t know what to do. In front of me lay a certain death, just like this predatory cat, but behind me was the dragon. I decided to take my chances by skirting the edge of the tar pit, steering myself to the left.

There Was No Way Through This Tar Pit

        Ancient bones and scalding tar lay ahead, so I would have to try another way, and the only other way was to my right.

This Afternoon Catnap Is The only Reason I Managed To Slip By

        As I reached the edge of the tar pit, I saw a giant cat napping up on some rocks. As quietly as I could, I slipped past him, and left the deathly tar pit behind me.

Eyes That I Was Aware Were Watching Me Did Not Unnerve Me

        It was only watching. I have no doubt that for every set of eyes I was aware of through the viewfinder of my camera, and infinite number more were studying me from afar, and from up close.

Hearing This Animal Approach Had Me Leaping For Cover

        I crawled under a rock, just like a lizard so my view of this creature’s feet was very fitting. Unable or perhaps unwilling to stick my head out for a better look, I resigned to get cozy in my rock dwelling until he or she walked by, and it wasn’t until I was sure that the beast was at a proper remove that I crawled out.

This Wasn’t A Rock At All!

        My rock shelter was already occupied, and while the current resident did not seem to mind my temporary intrusion, he did seem hungry, and looked at me like I was lollipop with a bubble gum center. I attempted to throw my green backpack into his nostril, but I missed and it landed just above it instead. Even though it was large, it is still a tortoise so I easily outran it. Stupid tortoise. I ran so far that I came upon some other travellers that were about to head home, so I hitched a ride on their human train and was dropped off very close to my own front door.

Animals Come In All Shapes & Colors

        My friends in Denver watch over my friends in San Diego, even though San Diego has no idea.

        An octopus may have eight arms and an anaconda might stretch from a third floor window to the ground, but Denver holds them both in the palm of his hand.  Denver was able to cure cancer in China, providing love, joy and happiness to 278 souls that had previously known only fear and evil.  Had I accompanied Denver on that Celestial journey that number would have been elevated to 428.  I just found this out.  I have just now been made aware of those actual numbers.

        Oh what a difference a day makes.

Kill Or Bee Killed

        My friends in San Diego are more powerful than Denver, but without any sort of direction, will never change the world.  It’s taken almost five years for me to realize that I can enable San Diego to change the world, and that San Diego can enable me to do the same.

One Day I’m Going To Change The World

        One day, everyone will know who I am.  One day my life story will be required reading in American history and with any luck it will be a part of the curriculum that students will look forward to learning.

Can You Guess Which One Is Me?

        I love the Celestial Calendar and every other bit of bullshit that has to do with the stars.  I also leave bullshit on the ground whenever I see see it.  I don’t like bullshit because it smells like shit and if I handle it my hands will smell like shit.  That is why “water off a duck” is so apt for me.  Bullshit does not hinder me because I walk right past it, without breaking stride. Bullshit rolls off me, just like water off a duck.  My fresh smelling hands are my proof.

The Celestial Zodiac Has Nothing On A Tiger

        Until San Diego learns to walk past bullshit, instead of smearing it all over it’s body and flinging it about the room, Denver will remain at an appropriate remove so as not to have to see or smell beautiful women wallowing in shit.

The Green Lynx Spider

        Of the many things that happened while I was down there, eating was one of them.  I bring this up because I am assuming that it was something I ate while down in the rabbit hole that shrank me down to the size of an ambush spider’s prey.  The abundance of honey bees, distracted this spider just long enough for me to slide down the stem of the flower and run into the underbrush of the nearby shrubbery and flower ecosystem .

Full Spectrum Lizard

        Due to my small size, I cannot judge distance for this story at all so it it should suffice to say that to open space of coarse white cement may have been a bike path or a jumbo-jet runway, and this lizard was right in the middle of it.  My physical being was so small that the pebbles next to the lizard seemed to be the size of automobiles to me.

The Thirsty Worm Gets The Burn

        I was able to hide behind the carcass  of this earthworm, which for some reason, was not in the earth because it was dead, on top of the earth.  This irony was lost on me as I sought cover behind it, while waiting for the giant chameleon death lizard to lumber away from my present location.

I managed to make my way to a cut   lumber pile that was teeming with flight capable life forms.

This fly, with a bright iridescent racing green skin gave me a ride to a witch doctor that said she would make me regular size.

I suppose that’s all I ever wanted.